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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27712988">i'm the last resort</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicats/pseuds/delicats'>delicats</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Owl House (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amity Blight Has a Crush on Luz Noceda, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Edric got Rejected too Much, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gay Disaster Amity Blight, Good Siblings Edric &amp; Emira Blight, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lesbian Disaster Amity Blight, Now he passes his knowledge like a wise monk, Pining, The twins bicker a lot, idk what to call the ending tbh, luz is clueless, no cishets pls, why is this not a tag?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:13:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,793</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27712988</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicats/pseuds/delicats</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Amity is tired of feeling like the last resort for Luz, things get even worse when she gets a girlfriend.<br/>Edric and Emira comfort her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amity Blight &amp; Edric Blight &amp; Emira Blight, Amity Blight &amp; Luz Noceda &amp; Willow Park, Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, Luz Noceda/Willow Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'm the last resort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Sunday, 2nd December </em>
</p><p>
  <em>23:25</em>
</p><p> </p><p>With the rain pouring lightly on her room’s glass panes, she sat snuggled up in her bed talking to Luz on the phone, “I’m just saying if you want me to I could-“</p><p>Her face was bright red, “No! Edric and Emira would never stop teasing me!”</p><p>“They aren’t that heartless!”</p><p>“Luz, if you can say that, then you don’t really know them.”</p><p>She laughed.</p><p><em> Laughed</em>.</p><p>It sounded like the sweetest batch of honey.</p><p>This must be what you here at the gates of heaven, something so pure, so genuine, so real.</p><p>She wanted to savor every second it, she wanted to hear that sound every day, every day for her life. But of course, she could never tell the human that. Amity was well aware that the latter did not think of her that way.</p><p>
  <em>Of course she didn’t. She was just a classmate to Luz.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Just an acquaintance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Just an encumbrance.</em>
</p><p>Luz was the Sun; brightening up Amity’s life, helping her find her way but she could never get too close without hurting herself, the smarter choice would be watching her from afar but alas, she was Icarus who got too close to the Sun. That was what brought him his downfall and Amity had the feeling that the same could be said for her.</p><p>It was frustrating, she didn’t want to lose Luz, she meant everything to Amity, Luz was her moment euphoria, her light, her love but Amity was nothing special to her, just a friend, just someone who Luz happened to be acquainted with.</p><p>She didn’t realize she was quiet until Luz said, “Ah! Sorry Amity! Willow is calling I have to talk later! See you!”</p><p>They were only talking for 20 minutes…</p><p>She didn’t remember the last time she and Luz had a proper conversation</p><p>. If the girl wanted to hang out she’d go to Eda, Willow, Gus or King. She wasn’t even the second option she was the last resort. She was completely aware of that fact, she wasn’t an idiot but it still hurt. And she knew that it would always hurt.</p><p>. . . </p><p>
  <em> Monday, 3rd December </em>
</p><p>
  <em>10:05</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Amity was sitting at the lunch table, Luz and she would sit at, sometimes accompanied by Gus and Willow.</p><p>The human girl had promised her she would spend the day with her, they hadn’t hung out in days, it bummed her out but she was still grateful Luz made time for her.</p><p>Luz had been making great progress in magic so Amity was extremely proud. It would bring her so much joy whenever Luz would excitedly bring her notebook and do some magic for her, it made her feel special. Of course, she wasn’t the only one who had seen Luz perform magic but whenever she would show her, Luz would make sure they’re in private; Amity occasionally gives the latter some advice on how to improve. Amity cherished those moments, they made her feels special.</p><p>. . .</p><p>
  <em>10:25</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Luz still hadn’t arrived, no worries though it has only been twenty minutes, Amity thought. Luz was usually punctual but something must’ve come up. Yeah, yeah that must be it, she further assured herself.</p><p>She was about to get up when she saw Luz enter the cafeteria with Willow by her side. She sighed in relief.</p><p>She further inspected them, they were particularly close. Amity looked down. <em>Willow and Luz’s hands were intervened.</em></p><p>Don’t worry, she thought, they’re close friends it mustn’t mean anything, they were just girls being friends, she wanted to believe that but a voice in the back of her head was telling her she was wrong.</p><p>Luz caught her eye.</p><p>She waved.</p><p>Instinctively, Amity’s hand replicated the same motion, accompanied with a small smile; she could feel her pointed ears turn crimson.</p><p>Luz ran straight to her, dragging Willow along with her. She clumsily bumped into a boy, Amity saw her do some wild hand motions, while her mouth was moving very fast; she was apologizing. She had such a specific way of saying stuff, though Amity couldn’t hear what she was exactly saying, she knew exactly what she was currently saying. Amity let out a chuckle.</p><p>Amity turned her head and started to finish her food, her mind was so distracted by Luz she didn’t even eat. As soon as she bit down into her sandwich, a wild (and adorable) Luz appeared in front of her face, she was so close.</p><p>
  <em>So very close.</em>
</p><p>Amity could feel her ears get warmer by the second; she didn’t even realize Willow was right next to her.</p><p>“Hi Amity,” she sat down. “Luz get out of her face!”</p><p>“Haha, sorry Amity!” she wasn’t. She was just saying that to please Willow. Amity was glad she wasn’t.</p><p>“Hehe, no problem, so what took you two so long?” As soon as she said that, Willow’s ears turned red. She didn’t fail to notice that. Curiosity was bubbling up in her stomach.</p><p>Luz’s hand went down; she had grabbed Willow’s hand in her own and brought it up to the table.</p><p>“Well…” Luz started with that cheeky smile on her face. She knew it, oh too well.</p><p>“What?” her interest was piqued.</p><p>“We’re dating!” Willow smiled lightly and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, while Luz was just grinning ear to ear.</p><p>Amity could feel her heart shatter to pieces, her stomach felt empty, her arms and legs felt weak, like they’d give up any second.</p><p>She ignored it; ignored the waterfalls that threatened to fall from her eyes, ignored the urge to scream at the top of her lungs.</p><p>She ignored all those painful, overwhelming sensations taking place and smiled. She squinted her eyes so the few tears that happened to escape would not be noticed.</p><p>“Well, I guess I should go and let the new couple hang in peace!” it hurt so much saying that.</p><p>“Amity no! That won’t be necessary”</p><p>“Heh, Luz d-don’t worry. I don’t mind.” She tried to sound as happy as possible. It came out as <em>too</em> saccharine filled, it wasn’t like Amity. They noticed. Of course they would but she walked as fast as she could, she wanted to get as far away as she could.</p><p>. . .</p><p>
  <em>10.50</em>
</p><p>She sat hurled up on a toilet seat’s stall. She couldn’t go to class, Luz would be there and she couldn’t face her just yet.</p><p>After drying her face, she called Edric, she didn’t exactly like her siblings and she definitely did not like relying on them but she didn’t have any other choice, Luz and Willow were the only friends she liked.</p><p>
  <em> “Hey Mittens.”</em>
</p><p>She didn’t remember how to speak, she couldn’t choke out a comprehensible sentence, “Huu-Heey....” she sounded like she’d cry. <em>Fuck.</em></p><p>Edric must have noticed the crack in her voice, verily he said, <em>“Mittens you ok? Sounds like you’re gonna bawl right here ha ha.” </em></p><p>That was all it took to make her cry, just the reminder of how pathetic she sounds right now.</p><p><em>“Mittens, what happened? Are you okay?”</em> that was Emira.</p><p>More inaudible crying noises came out.</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah, no you’re not. Where are you? Me and Edric were about to bunk, we’ll pick you up, but just don’t tell Mom.”</em>
</p><p>“…”</p><p>
  <em>“Mittens? You there? We need to know where you are.”</em>
</p><p>“Girl’s bathroom, second floor.”</p><p><em>“K.”</em> she could hear a light smile in his voice.<em>” Bye Mittens, I’m on my way.”</em></p><p>“…”</p><p>
  <em>“I’m hanging u-“</em>
</p><p>“Thanks Ed.”</p><p>. . .</p><p>
  <em>10:59</em>
</p><p>“So Mittens, what happened?” Emira asked as soon as she came.</p><p>“Did you wet your pants or something?” Edric asked.</p><p>“No! What the hell Ed?”</p><p>“<em>Sure</em> Mittens.”</p><p>“Yeah we <em>totally</em> believe you.”</p><p>She sighed. “Why did I even call you two in the first place?” she asked herself. “</p><p>That’s what we want to know.”</p><p>“I-I like..” she couldn’t say it. Her face was turning red, oh fuck the twins would not let her go with speaking “It-it’s nothing.”</p><p>She was about to leave but Edric and Emira held her by her arms, “No-oh Mittens you aren’t going anywhere. “</p><p>“Yeah you brought us here; at least tell us what happened? We even busted you out of school.”</p><p>“Sigh…. You aren’t going to let me go unless I tell you, right?”</p><p>Emira smirked. “Wow! You finally get it!”</p><p>Amity sighed for the nth.</p><p>Finally, she told them.</p><p>Somehow.</p><p>The twins especially Edric had an extremely short attention span and she felt as though they would purposely ignore what she was saying to piss her off.</p><p>. . .</p><p>11. 10</p><p>They went to get Amity some ice-cream since they weren’t completely horrible siblings.</p><p>“Mittens don’t be sad, I know it might feel hopeless right now but things will get better. Just look at Edric, he gets rejected by every boy and girl he confesses too and look at him,” she pointed her finger at him. “he turned out ok—ay? Okay, sorry bad analogy. Scratch that.”</p><p>“Emira!”</p><p>She titled her head to face him and said haughtily, “Did I lie dear brother?”</p><p>Edric pouted and crossed his hands like a child.</p><p>They bickered back and forth like this for what seemed like hours.</p><p>“Guys, I didn’t call you to hear you two argue! You aren’t helping!”</p><p>"Well, since Edric is better at dealing with heart breaks I’ll let him take this.”</p><p><em> “Thank you Emira.”</em> He said sarcastically. “Look Mittens I know how hard it can be; loving someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.” Edric said. Amity looked at him, he looked like he was five years older, he looked more experienced, dare she say <em>wise</em>, he was not the annoying, happy-go-lucky older brother she knew. Emira didn’t say anything, she simply let Edric continue.</p><p>“You feel like you’re just some toy, only to be used until you can’t give the person you desire any sort of happiness. Just some disposable toy…” Oh, Amity could relate to that so much it was honestly kind of pathetic.</p><p>“It’s hard. But you shouldn’t believe you’re unworthy, undesirable just because someone doesn’t like you. It’s-it’s difficult to genuinely believe that but; right now you should try to distract yourself from Luz. Don’t think about love all that much, it’s such a fragile thing and you are so young there is so you could be doing. Don’t let some girl dictate your life Amity.”</p><p>This was the first time in forever when Edric used her actual name, the first time in aeons when he told her something that wasn’t a taunt, wasn’t a dumb joke; he was being genuine. Amity smiled on the inside, she appreciated it. Who knew? The twins could actually help Amity.</p><p>She might be able to do this.</p><p>She might be able to get over Luz.</p><p>She <em>will</em>.</p><p>She must. Right.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[PLEASE READ]</p><p>This isn't really related to the fic but it's been 4 MONTHS since i last purposely threw up!! I'm making actual progress with my eating disorder and for once I am proud of myself. It's not completely away but I am getting better!</p><p>To everyone who struggles with self-esteem issues, eating disorders; remember you WILL get through this, you will make it, you will be re-introduced to the distant dream that is 'self love' and 'self expectance' I know it feels like you might not make it, I know it feels like you won't make it, it feels like you'll never be loved; never love yourself. I know it feels like you're all alone but things will get better I'm not one to preach self love, since I CLEARLY suck at that; but I'm making progress and I know you will too, just remember that you are not alone and try to vent to someone, it'll make you feel so much better.</p><p>If you feel like you have no one to talk to you can always reach out to me, via comments (or on ig). Your voice matters and you will be heard.</p><p>Just remember I love you and stay safe &lt;333</p></blockquote></div></div>
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